Losing You
by Hooty-McBoon
Summary: Silent Witness. Nikki gets sick, really sick, and Harry doesn't know what to do with himself. Hariki.
1. Anything and Everything

When examining a body Nikki is exposed to a dangerous disease. Hariki. Similar to that episode when Nikki was exposed to a contagious disease, but a little bit more dramatic. Ok I've been doing the research and I know that technically this is probably impossible, but frankly I don't care, it's possible for my story.

Disclaimer: I don't own Silent Witness, all the BBC. If I did, you would know.

**Losing You**

**Chapter 1: Anything and Everything**

The body that lay on the table, before Nikki Alexandra, was that of a 2-year-old Nigerian toddler. She was severely malnourished, and had been suffering from Scurvy due to a lack of vitamin C in her diet, it probably had something to do with the fact that Nikki suspected the baby on her table was an illegal immigrant who had arrived on a cargo ship. Nikki reported all of this into her Dictaphone; she paused to examine the face, the skin of which had been eaten away by rats. This particular body had been found in the sewers so it was to be expected. She had yet to cut into the body which looked so frail as it lay on her table. There was still one eye the socket, Nikki frowned as she looked closer at this eye, there was evidence of a Uveal melanoma, (cancer of the eye) its most common cause was over exposure to Ultraviolet light, Nikki noted this before moving over to the table that held the scalpels and instruments for her to begin the autopsy, with the first incision she cut began from the bottom of the ribs, and she moved all the way up to the collar bone, the stench from the body was stronger now. Nikki pulled back the flaps of skin to reveal the lungs beneath the rib cage, Nikki grimaced from beneath the mask she had on, the lungs looked decomposed, but it was not in keeping with the state of the rest of the body, something had deteriorated the babies' lungs. Harry Cunningham watched from the gallery above, he'd just arrived, he smiled as he watched Nikki work, unaware of his presence.

"The child's lungs appear to have been disintegrated, the level of which suggests that it began pre-mortem." She paused and leaned closer towards the body, "Interesting." She mused to herself.

"What is?" came a second voice from above; it didn't belong to Harry who had jumped not knowing that Leo, their boss, was in the gallery with him.

Nikki looked up startled to find out that she had an audience; "The decomposition in the lungs isn't in keeping with that of the rest of the body." Leo nodded in agreement, something was clearly not right.

"Nikki, can you finish up with this? We've got 3 more bodies coming in this morning and I'll need both of you." Nikki nodded as her gaze drifted away from Leo to Harry who was bowing obediently, Nikki smiled at him. He really could be quite childish sometimes. Nikki looked back down at the body and completed the autopsy, she found nothing, all that out of the ordinary apart from the decomposition of the lungs. She removed her gloves, after she had closed up the chest cavity, Nikki sighed heavily, she'd instructed one of the orderlies to clean up, unfortunately they hadn't, so she was left to do it alone. Nikki placed a second pair of gloves on and began to clean up, the smell of disinfectant irritating her nose as she did so.

"Nikki, have you finished?" Leo had poked his head in through the door, Nikki nodded as she hosed down the table one last time; "Great, the first of the bodies has arrived, you can go wait in the office with Harry, I've got this one covered." Nikki smiled relieved that she was able to take a break, even if it was only a short one. She walked slowly towards the office, her clothes felt itchy and tight against her skin, rubbing her arms slightly Nikki looked up to see Harry watching her.

"You ok?" he asked, she smiled at him, his concern was unwarranted in her opinion, but it was nice to know he cared.

"I'm fine Harry, I just had the most awful case, a baby, she was only about 2, she had anything and everything wrong with her, poor child." She sighed again taking a seat across from Harry. Harry would have commented that he had seen, but Nikki seemed a little preoccupied.

Harry watched as she rubbed her eyes tiredly; "Don't get too comfortable we've got two more bodies coming in any minute," Harry said getting to his feet; "the bodies were all found in a flat, Leo said that the police report said they'd all been garrotted." Nikki nodded, though she wasn't really listening to him. Harry noticed the blank expression on her face and sighed; "You sure you're ok?" they were interrupted by the buzz of the door, announcing the arrival of the other two bodies. Nikki smiled and headed towards the door, Harry was left slightly confused as he watched Nikki's retreating form. Harry ran a hand through his hair as he followed her, something was certainly off.

-

The body in the body bag was that of a teenage male, Nikki watched as it was placed on the middle table, Harry had followed her into the mortuary; the corpse that he would be autopsying was on the table nearest the door. Each pathologist worked on their own body, 3 male victims, same cause of death for all, it looked like they killed each other.

"I think that they garrotted each other, the last one would have had to do it himself, was there a weapon at the scene?" Leo asked looking up at the Detective stood to his right.

"Looks like they used guitar strings. We don't have identities on the victims just yet, but we're working on it." Came the reply.

"You're thinking a suicide pact?" Nikki asked looking up from her body, she moved to his hands lifting them up, if he had indeed helped to murder one of the other two there would be marks on his hands; "Surely there are easier ways." Nikki muttered tracing the red marks on the palm of his hand.

Harry was also examining his bodies' hands; "I think my guy didn't sign this pact." He lifted up the hand to show Nikki and Leo that the fingers had been cut into, clearly a result of trying to fight back.

"There must have been a fourth person," Nikki surmised, the Detective didn't look convinced; "Well Leo's guy doesn't have marks on his hands, so, he was killed first, I'm guessing that my guy killed him...so there had to be someone else in the room to kill my guy and Harry's."

"You're assuming that your guy didn't kill them all though Nikki." Harry replied.

Nikki smiled, she'd already thought of that; "If 'my guy'," she actually did the air quotes, causing Harry to role his eyes; "had killed them, he would have deeper lacerations on his hands, the struggle would have left them more damaged than there is here." Harry nodded knowing that she was in fact correct. Once cause of death had been confirmed by all three pathologists, though there wasn't really much doubt as to how the men had died, the autopsies were finished and the bodies taken away.

-

Nikki was currently sat at her desk filling out paper work, it had been a whole 8 hours since she had done the autopsy of the toddler that morning and she was noting up what she had said to the Dictaphone, she was finding concentrating hard and her vision kept on blurring. She blinked, once, twice, and on the third time her vision cleared. She chalked it up to lack of sleep, and working too many hours. She hadn't noticed that Harry had sat down at his desk across from her and was watching her work.

"You look awful." He commented. Nikki jumped and clutched at her chest, Harry raised an eyebrow he hadn't exactly been silently sitting there; he'd expected her to notice him.

She glared; "You're so kind." She muttered, she looked down at the notes she had been making, but she couldn't understand a word of it; "I should be at home in bed." She muttered again, running a hand through her unruly blonde hair.

"Go home then." Harry told her, as if it were that simple.

She looked up at him, if only he knew how much she wanted to go home; "I have to finish this first." She said. Her tone left little room for argument.

But apparently he'd found some; "You," he paused and moved round the desk to help her up; "-can finish it off tomorrow, Leo won't mind." Nikki sighed, she knew that she wouldn't be able to argue with him when he looked at her like that. Nikki closed her eyes and resigned herself to the fact that she would in fact be going home without finishing her report. Nikki closed her eyes and smiled as Harry handed her coat to her. Harry still had to practically shove her out of the door in the end, he reassured her that Leo wouldn't be angry that she hadn't finished the report. Without another word Nikki was ushered out of the door by Harry, he led her out to the car park and to her car; "Will you be alright getting home?" Nikki gave him a glare as she put her key in the ignition, she didn't bother giving him a response, she put the car into reverse and drove away. Harry wondered briefly if should would indeed be ok, she had seemed extremely exhausted, but it wasn't like she would tell him that. She wouldn't want him to worry. He probably would anyway. Nikki arrived at her place without incident, despite the fact that she found it hard to keep her eyes open. She decided that sleep was most important to her in that moment. Sleep. Nikki found her eye lids drooping, sleep was inevitable. She managed to get into her pyjamas just before sleep took her. It was a heavy sleep, full of nightmares that shouldn't haunt a grown woman's mind.

-

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A/N: This is shorter than I would have liked. Oooer something's wrong with Nikki. You like? Review please, it'll make me happy. No flames thank you.


	2. The botulinum bacteria

The second chapter of this fic is here. Let us all be happy.

Disclaimer: I don't own Silent Witness. If I did Harry and Nikki's relationship would be canon.

**Chapter 2: The botulinum bacteria**

Nikki Alexander was woken the next morning to the sound of her house phone. Apparently, someone thought that calling her this early was acceptable, she struggled to get out of bed finding an unnatural weakness in her muscles that she wasn't used to, she stumbled over to the phone, looking at the caller ID she frowned wondering what exactly Leo could want.

"Nikki?" she'd picked up but her mouth refused to open; "Nikki?!" he sounded frantic, something was wrong.

"Leo?" her voice was small and her speech slurred, it didn't sound like her.

"Thank god. Nikki, I got the results back on that body you did an autopsy on yesterday, the toddler?" Nikki was nodding, or at least she wanted to nod, but found that the muscles wouldn't support that kind of movement; "Nikki are you ok?" Nikki wondered briefly why people kept asking her that, but then again it was quite apparent that something was wrong.

"Not really." Those two words took a lot of effort and Nikki decided that she really needed to know what Leo had found about that child. But before he could tell her the muscles in her fingers had a spasm and she dropped the phone to the floor, something was very wrong; trying to pick it up again she found that her fingers wouldn't close around it. She could vaguely hear the sound of Leo's voice on the phone, he called out to her, but her mouth kept refusing to open and reply. Fear soon gripped her heart, it felt like her throat was closing up, she sank to her knees; her whole body was now shaking. She tried to speak, tried to make a noise so that Leo would know. Know what exactly? Nikki wasn't quite sure what was wrong with her she vaguely heard the word; "Botulism." From the phone, if that's what the baby had, had then she needed to get to a hospital now, she'd already experienced several symptoms the night before that she had attributed to sleep deprivation; her drooping eyelids, the blurred vision had all been early indicators. She must have inhaled some from the intestine of the baby when she'd done the autopsy, she hadn't been double gloved, and she'd taken her mask off during the autopsy at one point. It was quite clear that something had got through. Nikki heard Leo call her name again and then his voice went quiet as he spoke to someone else in the room; "Harry's on his way." Leo shouted down the phone, Nikki would have smiled if the muscles in her face had been working. She slipped from leaning against an armchair on to the floor. Her head hit the wooden floor with a thump and she heard the line go dead. Nikki wasn't aware of time passing, if she had she would have know that half an hour had passed, but as it was she was more preoccupied with her medical state than time, she soon found that swallowing was becoming difficult. Botulism is a rare but serious paralytic illness; her muscles had already frozen up on her. Nikki could feel her consciousness slipping away from her slowly, the noise of a body hitting her front door would normally have jolted Nikki awake, but unfortunately she barely heard the sound of Harry crashing through her front door.

"NIKKI!" Harry's voice was panicked as he called out to her, he ran into her bedroom where he found Nikki unconscious on the floor, he cursed to himself and moved closer to her, he'd already called for an Ambulance; Leo's paranoia had been well placed, and apparently well founded. Harry placed a hand on her neck to feel for a pulse, it took a couple of seconds but he found one, it was weak and slightly thread, but it was there; "Come on Nikki wake up." He muttered, he'd left the door open and soon found that he was surrounded by paramedics who ushered him out of the way so that they could get Nikki the help that she needed. He stood back a hand placed over his mouth, she had been breathing, there was a pulse, she was still alive. For the moment. Harry watched as Nikki was placed on a stretcher an oxygen mask had been placed over her mouth, she looked so vulnerable; Harry was frozen for a moment.

"Excuse me sir?" one of the paramedics attempted to get his attention, he waved a hand in front of Harry's face; "Would you like to come in the ambulance?" Harry nodded dumbly; he knew that he was in no state to drive. Not now at any rate, not now that he'd seen Nikki. Harry felt bile rise in his throat as a though struck him, she might not make it, it was very uncommon for someone to get sick from the botulinum bacteria by catching it from someone else, but as she had been studying the intestines, she must have inhaled some of the toxins that were present within the child. Harry realised that the paramedic was leading out of the building and towards the ambulance, he got in the back while a paramedic sat across from him checking her vitals, Harry couldn't take his eyes off the oxygen mask that obscured most of Nikki's face. She would make it through, she had to. The journey to the hospital seemed, to Harry, to take a lifetime. The ambulance came to a stop and Harry got out of it following the gurney into the hospital almost blindly, he walked into the foyer and was met by a frantic Leo.

"Harry." The older man's voice was hardly enough to shake Harry from his reverie. Leo fought the urge to shake the younger man whose gaze was held by the body on the stretcher being wheeled away; "Harry!" Leo raised his voice and Harry's eyes shifted to his boss; "We caught it early, she'll be fine."

Harry's gazed narrowed at the older man; "You don't know that." He paused as he tried to calm himself; "You and I both know that 60 of cases can be fatal."

"If left untreated." Leo corrected him, Harry however did not look convinced; "The symptoms usually occur 12-36 hours after contact with the bacteria." Leo paused not really sure where his fact was going, sure he knew the numbers, but he also knew that every case was different, sometimes the symptoms can occur as early as 6 hours after contact, the incubation period was different for each person. There was every chance that she would not survive; "This is Nikki, she's not about to give up on us this easily." He paused as he watched his employee sit down and place his head in his hands, he was the picture of a defeated man.

--

Nikki wasn't sure what exactly was happening, she'd vaguely heard Harry screaming at her before loosing all consciousness, so to open her eyes and find the whitewash walls of a hospital was strange to say the least. There was someone in her peripheral vision, this person kept moving, but as much as she tried Nikki could not get her own head to move so that she could see who it was. There was something down her throat, this much she was aware of. The sound of a heart monitor beeping slowly was like a steady lullaby, Nikki felt her eyes close again as she let the soft sounds lull her back to sleep. Or what she thought was sleep. The heart monitor's steady beep, turned into the continuous droning noise that no one wants to hear. The feet of doctors and nurses rushed around her bedside trying so desperately to bring her back.

--

They had noticed the flow of medical staff heading for the room to which Nikki had been taken, Leo had to practically restrain Harry to stop him from getting in the way; "Just let them do their job." Leo had muttered, he tried his best to keep his own emotions in check. Nikki did seem to have a knack for getting herself into situations that ended up with her in hospital, the most recent of which had been because she'd been hit over the head. Leo shuddered as he remembered that particular incident. Leo had seen how badly Harry had reacted to the fore mentioned incident. He looked over at Harry who had reclaimed his seat and was currently running his hands through his hair, Leo had contemplated telling Harry to go home, but he knew that he would never listen. It was the helplessness that got him, the fact that despite all of their knowledge in the medical field there was nothing they could do for her.

When a doctor approached them Harry was the first to jump up, the doctor addressed them calmly; "You're waiting for news on Nikki Alexander?" Harry nodded enthusiastically, finding that his voice had left him.

Leo answered for him; "We are, how is she?" he replied with a question of his own, the doctor looked grave and Leo suddenly felt his heart sink into his stomach.

"She was lucky, or unlucky depending on how you look at it." The doctor's pause was not well timed and Leo thought that Harry looked about ready to explode; "She was lucky that we caught it so quickly, but she was unlucky because the botulism was from an infant but her symptoms have progressed to that of Foodborne botulism," the doctor noted Harry and Leo's worried expressions; "don't worry it is perfectly treatable." Leo breathed a sigh of relief; Harry however, wouldn't let himself have the luxury of relief.

"When can we see her?" Harry asked finally finding his voice.

The doctor looked at a nurse behind him, before looking back to the pair; "Um, listen," he was using a serious tone that made Harry squirm uncomfortably; "she gave up for a bit, we lost her." His pause was once again poorly timed as he heard Harry gasp, he was now visibly shaking; "We got her back, but she is now in a medically induced coma for her own good, we need to flush the bacteria out of her system, as she has suffered respiratory failure she may need to be on a ventilator for some time. Botulism is a very rare illness you must understand that she is very lucky that it was caught so quickly..." the doctor trailed off seeing that his words were of no comfort to either man; "Look, we're doing all we can, you can expect to be able to see her soon enough." The doctor smiled weakly at them as he tried so hard to make them feel better. Leo thanked him but Harry couldn't bring himself to speak, apparently his voice had left him again.

Leo sat himself down beside Harry and placed a hand on the younger man's back; "She'll pull through," his voice didn't hold as much conviction as he would have liked, Harry nodded slowly but didn't bother answering him, he could hope that she would pull through. They sat looking at the corridor that was now empty, they were waiting for the doctor to come back and to tell them some good news. It would be a long wait this they both knew this, but one thing that they were sure of was that neither man was going anywhere. For now at least.

-

A/N: Yay that is chapter 2 over and done with, aren't we all pleased about that? Yes me too. –dances- So you like? Review please, and thank you. No flames.


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